Sunday, 26 April 2009


Generally, this is exactly the type of film that I want to see when I am home sick or I can't sleep for some reason. Dumb, silly action flick that allows me to check my intelligence at the door.

But this one was soooo over-the-top that it came round again and wound up on the bottom. Huh? Yeah, I don't know what that means either.

A fraternity of assassins formed by a group of weavers over a thousand years ago receive orders from a mysterious loom and follow out those orders with semi-magical abilities that include super-strength, super-speed and the ability to curve bullets from a gun around corners.

OK. It's a comic-book. A bad comic-book, but basically it's a comic-book. I get it. Highly stylized, deep in it's own mythology and ridiculous as all hell. It's escapist fantasy on par with The Matrix or Harry Potter or any other film where the main protagonist escapes his mundane, boring existence to live the exciting life of a super-hero.


I mean it was seriously boring. They couldn't jam enough ridiculous action into this one to hold my attention. I stopped watching it halfway thru to take a nap and when I woke up to watch the rest of it, I had kinda forgotten what had happened previously in the film. The cold medicine I am taking might have had something to do with that. I dunno.

All I can say is that I Wanted to like this film. I Wanted it to be as funny and as good as Nightwatch or Daywatch (same director). I Wanted to like James McAvoy and Angelina Jolie in their respective roles. I Wanted something to take my mind off my freakin' cold.

After it was over, all I really Wanted was an hour and forty minutes back.


Avitable said...

Except it's not a comic book. The movie came from the first chapter of the comic and has nothing to do with the excellent story that was actually written. The movie is a piece of shit. You should read the graphic novel sometime, though.

B.E. Earl said...

Adam - actually, I didn't know it was adapted from a comic-book. What I meant to say was that it was "like" a comic-book. I should have know though. It seemed more like one of those movies that they make from video games though.

Slyde said...

avitable has it right.

i didnt like it either. i actually could stomach most of it, and thought the opening was very matrixy cool, but once they showed how they get all their orders from a magic fucking LOOM, they lost me

Callie said...

I knew it was bad when Hubby dear fell asleep. During an Angelina Jolie movie. He. Fell. Asleep.

And I have to agree with Slyde. A LOOM? Give me a break. It was a total mess.

B.E. Earl said...

Slyde - Morgan Freeman gettin' paid, yo!

Callie - Angelina is starting to become a little scary looking. Wait, what?

sybil law said...

A loom? For realz?!

Faiqa said...

I have no intention of seeing that movie. Especially true as of this reading.