Sunday, 15 March 2009

Zatoichi

It's been a while since I've turned a movie off after just a few minutes.

I did it yesterday, with Zatoichi. I was so, so disappointed. Why? Well, the reason is simple. The 'special' effects.

I was so looking forward to this. I even explained to the wife why Takeshi Kitano is so fucking cool. I explained the premise of the movie, and why it would rock when made by him.

Then, not 30 seconds in, we have the first deaths, and some of the shittest CG effects I have ever seen. Blood spurting and not actually landing on anyone nearby, even when it apparently spurts in their faces. It just looks cheap, and as I haven't watched or absorbed any of the rest of the movie, I don't know if Kitano might have been making some stylistic point with this. It just looked too shit for words, so the movie remains unqatched and, for me, unwatchable.

Poor effects in themselves are not a problem – I love trashy horror, for example, and bad effects there are forgivable if they have ambition and imagination fuelling them. But there was no excuse for this, it's not a cheap production, and we're talking about relatively basic effects even if they were produced physically rather than with computers. Just a bad, bad idea.

* According to Wikipedia, this 'stylising' was intentional. Well, it was fucking shit, Mr Kitano. Don't do it again or I'll have to go Zatoichi on your ass.

4 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

I initially gave up on Sukiyaki Western Django after only 15 minutes. I actually fell asleep. But after watching the whole thing it became one of my favorite movies of the year.

And doesn't Beat Takeshi deserve a second chance?

I haven't seen it yet, but I'm willing to give it a go.

Z said...

But the blood was supposed to look like flowers blossoming across the screen. There appears to be no poetry in your lovely soul, Badgerdaddy.

B.E. Earl said...

I'm sorry badger, but I'm laughing out loud at Z's comment. :)

badgerdaddy said...

Sorry guys, I just couldn't get past it. Stylised for the sake of stylised doesn't do it for me.