Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Transformers

I think that I have officially become my father.

There was a time that I could watch a crappy piece o' popcorn like Transformers, and I would be perfectly content. Not so anymore. I tried watching it 3 times over the weekend, but I kept falling asleep after 20 minutes or so. Then I was finally able to make it all the way through to the ending and I couldn't tell the good robots from the bad robots. I was so confused. Like my Dad.

Is there really anyone out there who was nostalgic for the Transformers? I mean is there some kind of not-so secret enclave of uber-geeks who truly missed their daily dose of Optimus Prime and Megatron from when they were 10? I don't get it.

I hope they were happy with it. I hope they were happy with a robot that looked and acted a bit like Number 5 from Short Circuit messing with Air Force One. Maybe somewhere George Lucas was pissed off because the robots in this movie were funnier than the robots in his movie. They were supposed to be funny, right?

Oh, when the one robot simulated peeing on John Turturro....that was a gas! Cripes!

Michael Bay rolled out every trick in his dirty little bag for this movie. Every trick he already used in Armageddon and many others, I mean. I was most disgusted by the Mickey Mouse score that practically used rimshots for every one of Shia LaBeefsteak's jokes. I died a little bit inside with each sad occurrence.

Maybe I've just been in a bad mood, but this movie really sucked. Everything about it. And I had heard a whole bunch of decent reviews from some people whose opinion I usually trust. Now I think they may have been dropped on their heads a few times when they were infants. It's the only explanation I have for actually liking this movie.

That and the nostalgia for 80's Japanese anime robots wailing on each other.

Now if they had done a live-action version of Star Blazers....well, that would be a different story.

Through all the fire and the smoke
We will never give up hope
If we can win the Earth will survive
We'll keep peace alive
With our Star Blazers

6 comments:

lotus07 said...

This movie was very depressing to me on numerous levels.

First of all, I never watched nor paid attention to the original transformers, so I never really understood the interest.

When they resurected it after 20 years in the Goodwill bin, I thought, just another commic book cinema thrill ride.

When it did so good at the box office I was perplexed. I actually saw it in Christmas day when it was blaring on the TV at my step-grandson's house.

I could appreciate its technical CGI wizardry and pacing, but it made me sad that the youth of today actually see this as entertainment. It is nothing but choreagraphed violence and distruction with a paper thin plot.

Every 5 minutes or so my grandson would take his Optimus-Prime Transformer toy and fling it into a wall and scream with joy. I have not doubt he will grow up to be a fan of Pro-Wresting and Monster Truck pulls....I don't see Opera or Advanced Calculus in his future.

ajooja said...

I didn't know anything about Transformers before seeing it, but I liked it.

It's probably at least 25% better in a theater, so that may have something to do with your attitude toward the film.

It wasn't great -- and there was some terrible acting/casting/directing -- but I appreciated it for what it was, a summer popcorn movie.

B.E. Earl said...

Lotus - He sounds like a future President of the US.

ajooja - Like I said...I was probably just in a bad mood, but I hated it. And I normally dig brainless popcorn stuff.

LimZhi said...

Hmm..I'm kinda outdated because I havent watch it yet..Heheh! Now I'm so eager to watch it!

Btw, thx for visiting my blog! =)

badgerdaddy said...

I really enjoyed Transformers, and I shall tell you why... I was on a flight. A fucking long flight, too. In fact, I think it may have been direct to Hong Kong, which is 12 shitty overnight hours.

It's the perfect long flight movie, believe me.

B.E. Earl said...

limzhi - you ain't missing much.

badger - I would have preferred a 12-hour nap.