Friday, 15 May 2009

Surfer, Dude

I'll get to Wargames 2 later in the weekend. I had a big meal tonight and I didn't think I could stomach it. Strangely enough I did have the energy to watch Surfer, Dude. I can't even fathom why though.

Here it is in a nutshell:

Surfing.
Weed.
Topless women.
Weed.
More surfing.

Oh, and Matthew McConaughy plays a musical instrument while nekkid somwhere in there. But it's a didgeridoo, not a pair of bongos. Guess he didn't want to be typecast.

It sucks so much that it harshed my mellow. And I didn't even know I had a mellow. But it most certainly was harshed.

I think it does have possibilities as a drinking game of epic proportions though.

  • Drink every time you can see the ocean.
  • Drink every time you see McConaughy's bare chest.
  • Drink every time someone says "brah" or "bro" or "brother".
  • Drink every time McConaughy looks confused.
  • Drink every time someone smokes some weed.
  • Drink heavily every time you consider watching this piece of shit.
I honestly can't even begin to tell you what this film is about. It was as indecipherable as sanskrit to a normal human being. I'm not calling myself normal, you see. But I have known a few normal folks. And I just know they would have as tough a time as I did comprehending what was going on. Something about a reality surfing show, a video game, an ex-surfer turned into an asshole businessman, some kind of weed/surfing fast and Woody Harrelson's lawn mowing business. I think McConaughy falls in love somewhere in there as well. I don't really know.

See, I just typed that and it makes no sense.

Stay away from this one. Unless you are high. Or surfing. Or surfing while high. Or dead from the neck up.

That might work.

8 comments:

sybil law said...

The whole review made me laugh, though - so it served some purpose, right?! :P

B.E. Earl said...

Sybil - makes it all worth while. :)

starbender said...

I have to agree with you 150%-- it SUCKED!!! I wish I would have read your review before suffering through this one! *(but I saw it 3 weeks ago)
;)

B.E. Earl said...

Starbender - and I KNEW it was gonna suck. What does that say about me? ;)

Callie said...

See, I told you not to watch it. Well, not in so many words. I said something like I wouldn't put anyone through the misery of watching those two in a movie, which is essentially the same thing.

And you're going to try to watch Wargames 2? Good luck with that one, bro.

(you may now take a drink)

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B.E. Earl said...

Callie - yeah, I knew it was gonna be awful.

Pol - no thanks, spammer-dude!

brian said...

I think you went into the movie thinking "It's going to suck" so naturally it sucked. Maybe I'm the only one, but I really enjoyed it and plan on watching again. Give it another chance, it might grow on you.